I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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