Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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