pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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