can u get pink eye on your cock?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
