whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
