My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Houston, we have a squirter
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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