physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
