Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
