So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
