I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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