She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
