I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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