New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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