the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
