WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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