i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
