GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
