Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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