Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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