I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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