so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
