I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
