Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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