oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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