oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize