Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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