Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
