I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize