The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
