hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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