i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
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If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
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And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize