just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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