I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
