bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
