Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
