Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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