If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
