I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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