This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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