So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
