Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
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Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
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Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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