what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
