how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
