Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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