i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
