when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
