Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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