mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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