I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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