Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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