as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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