this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
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I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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