Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
