I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
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i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
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also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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