That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Randomize
