i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize