I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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