I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
