Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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