Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
