youre lurking in front of me
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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