Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
