school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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