If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
