she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My feet surprised me
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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