I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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