Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize