I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize