turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I won't apologize to a one balled man
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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