Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I intend to get homeless drunk
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
